리틀팍스

Type in your worry:

    OK. I can do this. There it goes!

     I think my friend is going to end relationships with me.

     It's generally true. Irene is going to end relationships with me. At least not now, but soon on. Sunny and I'm seriously worried about it, so much that we might go mad all of a sudden.

      It's all my fault. I had suggested to pretend to ignore Irene and walk away. It was funny, with me and Sunny pretending to ignore Irene walking toward us. I'm truely sorry that I did that now. I really panicked when Irene ignored me just like I did to her and walked home with the new girl in her class, Mary Jane. It's so strange that Mary Jane and my names match. Nevertheless, I hate her.

     It's not that I envy Mary Jane. Yes I do. I envy her, a lot. I was crazy with jealousy when Irene just followed Mary Jane around. She seemed to practically treat me and Sunny as a invisable person. We were there, but we were not. I wish Mary Jane would turn out wicked. I wish Mary Jane would ignore Irene, and play with another girl. I wish Mary Jane would turn out like the girlish girls; gushing and gossiping about idols, make-ups, and boys. I wish Mary Jane would transfer to another school now. I wish...I know. I'm wicked. I'm mean. I'm envious. But I can't help it.

     Mr. Speed is awfully curious about my sudden change in behavior. I like my teacher, Mr. Speed, and I know he solved many students worries. He often bregs about his first students who used the worry website. They're in high school now, but Mr. Speed still talks about them anyway, which makes me envious of them.

      I feel like a loser. A sore loser. I deserve to loose Irene. I'm a bad friend. I'm a bad friend. I'm the worst friend ever. I just wish I can turn time backward, and then everything would be solved. If only I haven't made this foolish decision of ignoring Irene, if only I haven't been so ignorant and foolish enough to not get Irene's massage of she doesn't like what we did. If only I have enough courage to march over to her and say I'm sorry.....

      My legs were moving to the class computer before I could stop them. I plopped on the chair and cautiously checking that nobody was seeing, turned on the worry website and searched the comments. 

Comments:

     So what? You can make another friend. 

     I agree. I have tons of friends and ex-friends. 

     What's the big deal? Just end relationships with him or her before him or her could end relationships with you! Now that's what I call a real victory.

     What's she on about? 

     How do you know the person is a she? Not a him?

     Are you a fool? Only girl's worry about friendy-friendy-friend problems. Not like tough boys.

     Don't worry about it! I can lend you some friend in place of your missing one!

    Want a friend? You can have mine!

    None of them were actually helpful. I leaned on the chair and closed my eyes. Is there nothing I can do about Irene and me? Is there no solution but to end relationships? I don't want that because Irene and Sunny are my only friend, so they're really special to me. It sounds so yuckety-yuckety-yucky, but what would anyone expect from a girl who spent one-whole-year friendless?

    I could never forget that year. It was the longest year I have ever experianced. I had nobody to speak with, play with, chat with, group with, eat with, laugh with, read with, or even sit with. It was the worst year of my whole life. I played alone in break time, eat alone in lunch time, went home alone after school, and this routine continued on and on until it entirely tired me out. I pretended to be strong, and not care because if I became weak, my parents would be concerned. I used to cry at night, too softly for nobody to hear.

     Back than, I would've gave anything for a friend. Then I moved here. It was a new opportunity for me. New school, new class, and especially, new friends. That's when I met Irene. The teacher addressed me to set next to her and I became friends with her. And that's what probably happened to Mary Jane and Irene. 

     I used to feel sorry for myself. For having no friend at all. I tried to mix with kids, but I couldn't. It was so terrible. I envy Mary Jane for it. She now got Irene all to herself, for goodness sake. Now it's all Sunny and me. 

     I haven't told mother about Irene though. Even though Irene is acting mean to me and Sunny, I still respect her and like her, as a friend. As a best friend......